The Great Adaptation
When the pandemic began in early 2020, I lost half of my training business overnight. Up till this point, I had been executing 20% of my business virtually, and I knew if I didn’t adapt my services to a 100% remote/virtual model, I had the potential to lose more business. Needless to say, I was freaking out a bit!
Today in 2023, I am happily still working 95% virtually. But, what I am noticing is over the last month things are starting to change. Over the last two weeks, I heard the following from my executive coaching clients:
I feel I can be very productive working 100% virtually, and I just had one of my most successful weeks as a salesperson! My boss offered no congratulations but instead told me that I might have to start coming to the office at least one day a week. They closed the nearest office to me in Boston, meaning I would have to travel to New York City once a week. This seems counterproductive… How is that going to improve morale, productivity, and engagement?”
It has really been helpful being in the office three to four days a week. I am reconnecting with my new and old colleagues and am beginning to build stronger relationships. Co-worker lunches and informal office drop-by conversations energize me.
I am fine with coming to the office twice a week, but if my company increases to three or more, I will be looking for a new job.
I don’t like having to come to the office three days a week, and everything seems so chaotic. I am coming to terms with what it means to work at this company. I’ve realized that there is a lot of experimentation going on… it feels like everyone is making it up as they go along! I’ve stopped worrying and started trusting myself more.
Photo by Israel Andrade on Unsplash
The differences in opinions were vast. There was a simple distinction between resignation and acceptance in order to become part of what I call THE GREAT ADAPTATION.
I noticed that the biggest obstacle for me and my clients to move from adjusting to thriving was to avoid getting stuck in the mindset of rigid thinking, resignation, resentment, and the negative rhetoric around “how the world should be.”
I began hearing these questions from my clients:
What is the distinction between resignation and acceptance?
What difference does it make if you accept?
How can I move towards acceptance more quickly?
Let’s unpack this quote from my coaching client, Virginia*, who recently came to terms with her workplace.
I don’t like having to come to the office three days a week. Everything seems so chaotic! I am coming to terms with what it means to work at this company. I’ve realized that there is a lot of experimentation going on… it feels like everyone is making it up as they go along! Because of this, I’ve stopped worrying and started trusting myself more.
Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash
How did she get there?
Virginia made a job change a year ago. She had been working 100% remotely at her previous company and enjoyed that balance. This organization quickly told people they must return to the office two to three days a week. No one seemed happy about the decision, and many adopted a micromanaging, passive-aggressive approach. This drove Virginia crazy!
To add to this, there were layoffs. She managed to keep her job but began questioning her 25+ years of experience and her decisions. Her inner dialog of “I don’t know what I am doing” led to indecisiveness and lack of motivation to act. She began to feel more hopeless and resigned. Thoughts about quitting became too frequent.
While Virginia debated leaving, she was aware that the job market wasn’t great. So instead of packing up and attempting to move on, she decided to give her organization another chance.
Together, we started examining her feelings, the negative self-talk, the facts about her recent decisions, and the actions of others. Through our examination, she realized that she avoided conflict by doing the bare minimum. Occasionally she responded to problem-solving requests that seemed obvious (and easy) to her.
She asked her boss how he was dealing with the challenges in the organization. He confessed that he was making things up as he went along. He encouraged her to make more decisions independently.
This was enlightening. She realized that her recent problem-solving interactions had no complaints. This empowered her to reach out and offer assistance to others, ultimately resulting in gaining a positive reputation as a problem solver/expert.
Virginia began to feel more confident in making decisions quickly. After observing that there was no significant negative data—except for what she was creating in her head—she asked herself, “If I’m willing to let those old self-limiting stories go about myself, could I do the same about the way I feel about this company”?
When she acknowledged that she had been caught up in the negative disposition of the organization, she decided that she no longer wanted to be unhappy, unassertive, and compliant.
While she didn’t agree with the organization’s strategy to force people to return to the office three days a week, she didn’t want to limit her career. She started seeing that her colleagues valued her guidance which led her to acknowledge that her superpowers included problem-solving and helping others.
According to researchers, when you're experiencing a negative emotion, the thoughts available to your mind are limited, yielding fixated and more predictable thinking and action. When you’re experiencing a positive emotion, more possibilities come into your view. Positive emotions produce thoughts that are notably unusual, flexible, and inclusive. (Transforming Anxiety: The Heart Math Solution for Overcoming Fear and Worry and Creating Serenity by Doc Childre, Deborah Rosman, Ph.D., page 56.)
While it may appear simple, practicing self-reflection, testing assumptions, and asking for guidance, resulted in an unexpected result for Virginia - a positive mindsight that allowed her to see that this job might have potential. Building confidence in her capabilities took several months. This process of moving towards acceptance is similar to a grieving process as it involves acknowledging disappointment and letting go of what might have been. While it might not have felt as instantly rewarding as quitting or quietly resigning, this process built long-lasting resilience that will continue to support Virginia to adapt and thrive.
As we continue to adapt to this changing world, feeling overwhelmed isn’t out of the ordinary. The path forward begins with giving yourself a lot of self-compassion and reflecting on where are you on the continuum between resignation and acceptance. When negative thoughts and resignation take hold, it may be time to seek a guiding hand. If you find yourself inching deeper into negative thought patterns, coaching can help you see the larger picture.
I welcome your thoughts on how you are adapting to the new hybrid world!
*client name has been changed to protect anonymity