How to Build Compassion, Joy, and Gratitude into Your Life

How can you increase the amount of compassion, joy, and gratitude in your life? A simple way is to start a regular practice. It’s called a practice because it’s something you do consistently, with the intention of growing and learning. Through practice, we build skill, competency, and self-awareness. At first, it might feel awkward, and mistakes will happen. But over time, as it becomes a habit, it also becomes a valuable skill. And that’s where our perfectionist mindset can work in our favor—we’re dedicated and willing to put in the effort!

Commit to practicing for 30 to 60 days. Even if it feels too easy at first, give it a real shot. Engage daily, and if you miss a day, simply start again the next. This habit is all about having your own back, building resilience, and supporting yourself with compassion rather than criticism.

As perfectionists, we often think productivity is all about hard work. While that’s a solid foundation, it isn’t enough for sustainable personal and professional growth. When we consistently make time for gratitude, self-compassion, and joy, our subconscious starts to trust that we’re there for ourselves. This mindset empowers us to stretch, take risks, and get back up without harsh self-judgment. I know some of you may be skeptical because it seems almost too simple—I felt the same way, as have many of my clients. But give it a try; think of it as a thirty-day trial.

The goal of this practice is to cultivate feelings that make you feel lighter, more expansive, and energized—helping to replace the tightness and heaviness perfectionism often brings. So, what’s one small step you could take to shake off those “perfectionist shackles” for just five minutes a day? Here are a few ideas:

  • Make a Bold Declaration: Say something like, “I am good at being compassionate toward myself. I support myself no matter what happens.” Repeat it anytime you need a boost during the day.

  • Attend a Yoga or Pilates Class: Once a week or as often as possible. Even if it’s just once a month, start where you can. The consistency is what matters.

  • Take a Small Physical Action: On your walk to the train or to your car after work, reflect on what went well and where you could improve—always with kindness toward yourself.

  • Play Your Favorite Song: Take five minutes between meetings to listen to something that lifts your spirits.

  • Use Simple, Daily Mantras: Say something like, “I am grateful for my job” in the morning or at lunch. Research shows that repeating simple mantras can boost happiness.

  • Write Three Things You’re Grateful For: Spend a few moments each morning listing three things you appreciate. Really take your time to feel the gratitude in your body.

Experiment with these ideas, and see which ones resonate with you. I’d love to hear what works for you—please feel free to share your experiences in our LinkedIn group or email me at mayer@kcmayer.com.

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Finding Peace in Unexpected Loss: How Gratitude and Self-Compassion Changed My Life

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Birth of the Happy Warrior